i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
