holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
