I puked a lego.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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