She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
