That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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