It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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