I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i drank out of a bidet.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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