ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
