If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
