i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
