I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
