He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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