i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
from now on my penis is your penis
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
