this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
