i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
