$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
