The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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