I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
