I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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