VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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