well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
