He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
