Christians are straight up FREAKS
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
