two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
