Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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