Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
