sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
