What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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