Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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