Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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