he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
