this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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