The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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