Soap is not a condiment
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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