it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
