He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
