I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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