I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
