glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My cat gives me a boner
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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