I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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