So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
