dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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