did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
