how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
should my penis look like a turkey
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
