Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
