You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
