At least make sure they are 18
Why
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
