You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
