Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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