how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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