is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
