i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize