You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
