I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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