No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
