I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
