like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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