i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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