1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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