just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
