It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
