Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
